For more than ten years a Florida-based suicide support group has been saving and rebuilding lives across the whole of America.
The Suicide Survivor Group is part of AFSP.org (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention) and has supported hundreds of people in their darkest days.
This volunteer-lead organization meets twice a month, with up to 20 people in person and 10-15 online from as far as California, New York and New Jersey.
Darin Gull is one of three group facilitators. Sadly he lost his brother to suicide four years ago but is determined to ‘give something back’ and prevent further tragedies.
“Most people don’t realize how prevalent it is. Losing my brother has made me a better person. It challenged me to give his life meaning and give something back too. I’ve become much more empathetic.”
He says the more people talk and share stories the easier the pain becomes and fond memories come flooding back.
Giving hope
“We often get asked by new people in the group about when will the grief go away. The grief never goes away but you grow around it so it does seem to diminish. As people become stronger the grief seems smaller. That’s the goal of our group to help people cope with day-to-day life, functioning again and eventually thriving. You will never forget your loved ones.”
The group supports children as young as 14-16 that has lost a classmate, right up to someone in their 80’s who has lost a son, daughter or spouse.
“It’s a support group for people who have lost somebody but in addition to that we reach out about how to look for signs from anyone struggling as well as promoting the 988 suicide hotline. Some of our volunteers do get involved in this too,” Gull highlighted.
“But the main goal is getting someone through and preventing a second suicide. It’s not uncommon when people lose someone they feel at the end of the road and shortly thereafter end up taking their own life too. It’s tragic.”
Giving a message of hope is one of the main focus points of the group, as Gull adds: “Providing a purpose and a safe place for people to talk through with others what they have gone through, is so important.
“It’s not the same as other loss groups when losing someone through illness. In suicide you are not just grieving the loss of a loved one but the acceptance they chose to take their own life. That adds a whole new level to the process.
“Everyone wants to know why but you don’t always get to know the answers. What they were thinking just before it happened is a common thing. We are not counsellors but volunteers and sharing our experiences and asking others to share theirs. As a group we try to build new members up to give them the strength to get through the process.
“We make ourselves available 24/7. Every person that comes through the door can have my cell phone number. If they are struggling they are told never to hesitate to call me.”
Covid changes
The group meets on the 2nd and 4th Wednesday of each month in Boca Raton, Palm Beach County, switching between the two local County libraries that provide facilities for free. Gull says the Covid pandemic changed things dramatically.
“It used to be an in-person group but we needed to continue through the lockdowns online. At first it was just a voice call because people were afraid of the technology until they gradually got more comfortable. I do think seeing someone’s face and expressions matters. We have the chairs in a horse-shoe shape around the camera so everyone has a seat at the table!”
The group has been using a video camera donated by Texas-based conferencing manufacturer Boom Collaboration. The Boom MEZZO is a compact 4K ‘intelligent’ camera that features electronic pan, tilt and zoom and built-in AI functions.
It’s linked to a 42” HD TV and external speakerphone. The group has now been sent a Boom AURAvideo bar which is a complete all-in-one solution for a more convenient and enhanced overall experience.
Gull is President and General Manager of Deerfield Beach communications specialist TRACI.net. They are experts in Audio Visual technology and support mental health charities and counselling in addition to his own volunteering work.
He emphasized: “The goal is to make sure even those joining remotely feel they are at the meeting. The MEZZO offers phenomenal picture performance and the meetings are controlled manually with a remote by me. It’s a crystal clear picture.
“As a company we sell lots of Boom conferencing equipment, predominantly for huddle rooms. It’s becoming the new way to meet in an age of hybrid working.
“We want to accommodate those joining meetings online and those in person to deliver a similar experience. Boom makes this happen. We are hugely grateful for their support and quality equipment.”
Boom Collaboration was formed in 2020 by founders Fredrik Hörnkvist and Holli Hulett from a HQ in Austin. Hörnkvist remarked: “When we heard about the life-saving work this group performs we had no hesitation in supporting them and will continue to do so.”
Hulett added: “Conferencing helps keep people talking wherever they are based. It’s crucial they are seen and heard clearly during meetings.”
Lives saved
Over the years the group has saved lives and helped survivors find tools to cope with their loss, according to Gull.
“Often they come in and are a wreck. They haven’t showered or eaten in days. A friend might drag them to our group, kicking and screaming. Over time they start to relax and engage. We have several members who say they wouldn’t be here now without the group. You guys saved me.
“Many actually go on to thrive. We had a woman who lost her husband at a time when her children were leaving college and starting to think about their future. All of a sudden she was on her own and her world turned upside down. She was devastated and needed to find some hope and a path to get through it.”
Several people have been in the group for many years while others may attend as few as four meetings. For some occasionally it’s just not for them although a few have returned a couple of years later. Unfortunately grief doesn’t end and it can come in waves.
“The group doesn’t need to be long term. It’s about giving people a platform and tools to cope and grow. If they are struggling they can come back at anytime.”
Staggering number
Gull concluded: “In person we get people from the tri-county area but we’ve had people call in from California, New York and New Jersey. The reach is broad and particularly during Covid people were looking for support groups. Once people had to go back into the big wide world there was an unfortunate spike in suicides so our work is more vital than ever.
“Some of the stats I’ve read show more than 50% of the population have been affected by suicide which is a staggering number. It’s becoming extremely prevalent in young adults. Life is getting hard, the struggles are real and for too many the help is non-existent.
“With suicide, there is a major connection to mental health struggles, but there is small portion where there is an emotional over-reaction to something. The way I put it is that it’s not an easy decision to choose to end your own life, so if you see that is your best choice in that moment, how bad was the pain and the struggle to cope.
“In my brother’s case it was OCD which haunted him all his life. Nothing was good enough and led him to bad choices. There is no shame to losing anyone to suicide. Now I want to give back and help others to stay alive and prosper.”
To find out more about the group contact:
Ilene Leeseilene@suicidelosssurvivors.org
856-466-1106
If you are in crisis, please call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline by dialing 988
or 1-800-273–8255, You can also text the Crisis Text Line by sending TALK
to 741741
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